The 21st century has seen two former cottage industries rise to prominence. Twenty years ago, weed was something you could only buy from shady friends of friends and the biggest superhero movie around was Batman and Robin. Today, you can barely turn a corner without smelling some Blue Dream or seeing a poster for Spiderman: Homecoming.
Since they’ve come up together, we thought we’d take a look at which superhero movies go best with a good gooey dab.
- DOCTOR STRANGE
At peak dabbet-out-edness, Doctor Strange will feel like you’ve had a visit from God. The kaleidoscopic effects and the scene where time turns back and the demolished city reconstructs itself while the good and bad guys fight is worth using a good stone on by itself. But the most effective way a powerful hit of shatter can help you enjoy Doctor Strange is if it makes you forget Inception and all the cool things that movie did first.
- THE DARK KNIGHT RISES
This is the kind of superhero movie you want to hit a nice brainy sativa during so you can have stoned breakthroughs all the way through. If the movie and the sativa hit you just right, then throughout the movie’s two hour, forty-five minute runtime, you’ll be saying, “I get it. Bane predicted Trump,” or, “Yes! I get it. Batman is like the Clintons and has become complacent in a hypocritical system,” or, “I get it. This movie should have ended 15 minutes sooner.”
- FURIOUS 7
It’s not Marvel, it’s not DC, it’s not a bird, it’s not a plane, but it is Superman. The muscle-bound, gravity-defying, eight-installments-and-counting team of the Fast and Furious films may not have gotten bitten by radioactive spiders or had their skeletons swapped out with adamantium, but their adventures sure play out a whole lot like those of their friends in tights and capes. And say what you want, but they do have superpowers: they’re really, really good with cars. And Ludacris is good at computers or something. That’s more than Batman’s got.
Even if there is a question about Furious 7’s categorization as a superhero film, there’s no argument that it’s not a great movie to get lifted to. Anyone who’s had their eyes jump out of their sockets when Vin Diesel jumps his car from skyscraper to skyscraper can attest to that.
- GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
With it’s groovy pulse, bumping soundtrack, sarcastic humor, and explosive colors, Guardians of the Galaxy is probably the superhero film with a personality most like a stoner. You know that Starlord’s got a little vape pen tucked into one of those pockets and Rocket Racoon has a giant, ugly, cavemen club looking blunt in his pack. Any team that parties with a literal dancing tree has got to be down.
- BATMAN RETURNS
This movie starts with Pee-Wee Herman dumping a baby in a sewer and only gets crazier after that. What’s definitely the funniest Batman movie ever features penguins with rocket packs strapped to their backs, a dead Michelle Pfeiffer being revived by kittens, a mayoral campaign run by a man with flipper hands, and the best part is that it’s actually good. A good hybrid strain is probably best for this one. It’s got enough dumb jokes to make the indica in you chuckle yourself into the couch and enough sharp satire to make the sativa-affected part of your brain think it’s genius.