Police Try To Pin Drug Deal On Pokémon Go Players

Police Try To Pin Drug Deal On Pokémon Go Players

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There’s a new scourge on the health and safety of the people of the world. Just as dangerous as any devil weed and at least ten times as available to kids. Just five days after this new plague on the human race, it’s being used by more than 7.5 million people, and has caused the attempted invasion of an Australian police station, been used as a weapon in an armed robbery, and traumatized at least one child. We’re speaking, of course, of the new game/obsession that is dominating the globe, Pokémon GO.

So maybe the government should make a law regulating the use of this most volatile of recreational activities, instead of forcing police to use drug laws to crack down on the new breed of junkies, those addicted to finding monsters at their own and others’ peril. Something like that occurred recently in the middle of the night when a Reddit user claimed some police officers mistook his late night monster hunting for a shady drug deal, as reported by The Telegraph.

“There is a little park a few blocks from me that had like three pokestops and a gym, so I wandered over there to see what the game could offer,” the 40 year-old explained.

“So I get there and wander around a little checking out the stops and rustling around in the tall grass, then decide to go a few blocks away to see a couple more stops when I hear from the darkness a ‘Yo, my man!’”

“Turning, I see two sketchy looking dudes sitting on a bench in the dark. I must have walked right past them without noticing them. One of them waves, ‘My man, check over by the blue truck over there we got an onyx earlier.’”

“Turning, I see two sketchy looking dudes sitting on a bench in the dark. I must have walked right past them without noticing them. One of them waves, ‘My man, check over by the blue truck over there we got an onyx earlier.’”

“So I wander over by the truck and sure enough there’s a fuckingg Onyx there. Awesome. So I end up chatting with the guys for a bit, told ‘em where I got my Evee, they convinced me to join red team when I hit level five so we could ‘lock shitt down” in the neighbourhood.”

At this turn in the story, Pokémon Go is starting to sound like a fount of brotherly love. Like mother ganja in the ‘60s or Jesus back in the before B.C. days, it’s bringing people together. But just like with MJ and JC, PG does not bring love without inviting hate.

“Then the cop shows up,” the user added.

“Yeah, so it turns out two twenty-something black dudes and a 40-year-old white guy chilling in the park at 3am looks strange. It took a bit of talking to convince the cop we weren’t doing a drug deal, and a bit longer to explain the game.”

But, ultimately, as always, love overcame.

“Then the cop downloaded the fucking game on his phone and asked us how to get started.”

The story is probably at least 50 percent bullshit, but so is Pokémon GO, so it all works out.

 

Photo via Flickr user iphonedigital

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