Stoner Hosers: 5 Ways To Celebrate Canada Legalizing Weed

Stoner Hosers: 5 Ways To Celebrate Canada Legalizing Weed

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Canada is beating America to the weed legalization party. The U.S.’s neighbor to the north is set to go full legal as of July 1, 2018, according to the CBC, a state-founded, publicly-funded impartial news outlet out of Canada (guess not putting people in jail for weed isn’t the only thing the Canucks are ahead on).

The legislation to actually put all this legal weed legal mumbo jumbo into action is slated to be introduced next week. At the national level, the legal minimum age for possession will be 18 and those who want to grow their own will be limited to four plants per household, but provinces will have their own discretion as to the limits on amounts of cannabis bought and sold.

Jealous though Americans are of our Canadian brethren, it may be important to show a little solidarity with them and congratulate them on their newfound freedom. But how exactly can we party like a stoner hoser while in the middle of Arkansas or Indiana? We’ve got five stupendous suggestions below.

  1. Indulge in Canadian Stoner Culture

The most convenient (and maybe most fun) way to do that would be to just stream a little Trailer Park Boys off of Netflix. Light your oil rig or bong or spliff and be carried off to a magical fantasy land of doomed-to-fail schemes, endless rum and cokes, and ventriloquist dummies. For a deeper dive, go check out Strange Brew. Or, if you want to cheat, just check out Canadian emigre Nathan Fielder’s brilliant Comedy Central show Nathan For You.

  1. Get Some Canadian Weed

To really understand the mindset of a Canadian pothead, you need to smoke some Canadian pot. In a convenient list of North North American buds compiled by Leafly, several stellar strains from the land of Alanis Morissette were highlighted, including the indica God Bud, ancestor of both Grape God and Blue God. Also most definitely worth checking out are the fabled BC hybrid knockout Mendocino Purps and the killer Manitoba Poison.

  1. Tattoos in Honor of Justin Trudeau

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is one of those cool politicians. Besides his cool credentials from legalizing fucking weed, he’s a boxer, he’s young (45), and he’s tatted up. The representative of the Liberal Party of Canada has a tattoo of the Earth spinning inside a raven. The artwork comes from the indigenous Haida people of British Columbia, who were cool with the tattoo until Trudeau started approving policies which appropriated their land to dig up liquified natural gas and build oil pipelines. Then they were like what the fuck.

  1. Drake

You might think this speaks for itself, but what could speak even better for the idea of Drake as emblematic to his country is to first watch him get shot in a high school and then watch him dance in a glowing box.

 

Deep Dive Of Canadian Culture

When helping the Canadians celebrate their newfound indica independence and sativa salvation, you should have more to talk to them about then just the basic Canadian culture bullet points of Drake, Seth Rogen, and Alanis Morissette. Like how about the French-Canadian Cannes Film Festival Best Director winner Xavier Dolan, who’s bitching movie Mommy got him all gushed over or the head-trippy psycho-sexual Corey Hart-showcasing Tom at the Farm. Or how about the cult classic horror film Shivers or the recently passed away legendary singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen or the insane SNL-offshoot The Kids in the Hall. All of which would go good with a nice wax-dripping spliff.

 

But the main thing is to just send good vibes and intentions drifting up north along with the exhale from your dab, maybe hoping for an equally rad, well-spoken argument for legalization from a politician in American, kind of like this inarguable succinct choice nugget that Trudeau gave last year:

“There are billions upon billions of dollars flowing into the pockets of organized crime, street gangs and gun-runners, because of the illicit marijuana trade, and if we can get that out of the criminal elements and into a more regulated fashion we will reduce the amount of criminal activity that’s profiting from those, and that has offshoots into so many other criminal activities.”

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