An old church-going man is facing multiple charges for improvising his own sacrament at Sunday Service. Last year, 74 year-old Brian Jones allegedly gifted his Bloomington, Indiana congregation with hash oil-laced chocolate cookies, as reported by The Smoking Gun.
All the trouble started when a Deputy Chief with the Bloomington Police Department rushed his daughter to a local emergency room. The 18 year-old had suffered “adverse effects” after chowing down on Jones’ cookies, according to the police report. Several other church members had also been admitted to the hospital.
These must have been some strong, strong cookies. One parishioner said she didn’t even finish her cookie, but still experienced “nausea, rapid heart rate, and tremors.” Another felt like he was “like he was dying” from a stroke.
Sounds like Jones severely misjudged his consumers. Might have started them off with some CBD-leaning cookies or, you know, maybe told them what they were eating. But apparently the 74 year-old was not himself that day. A church member told the police that Jones had shown up late to Catholic Mass that day, which was apparently very unusual. Not only that but Jonesy was seen stumbling around the church, “walking all over the aisle” as if he was intoxicated.
When questioned by the police, the compulsively punctual churchgoer denied any knowledge of a controlled substance being integrated into his cookies and said that he had been late and acting strangely at work because he was baking until four or five in the morning (maybe the old timer should take it easy).
On searching Jones’ residence, police found pills containing a substance which an officer detailed in his report “had an odor that I recognized through my training and experience as a law enforcement officer to be marijuana.”
After that substance was confirmed by lab results to be cannabinoidic in nature, Jones was charged with two misdemeanor counts of possession and criminal recklessness, to which he’s pleaded not guilty and is scheduled for a pretrial hearing later this month.
The man is apparently known for his baking. One of his children captioned a photo of his dad holding a fresh tray of chocolate cookies, “At the Jones house, you are greeted with a fresh batch of cookies when you arrive,” the caption notes. “They call my dad ‘the cookie man.’”
Photo via Flickr user Lara604