With Star Wars Celebration underway in Anaheim this week, we’ve been overcome with a feeling of pure joy. A rush of warm everything, washing over us like the Force in a deep meditation.
An obsession with Star Wars is one of the most beautiful things one can undertake in life. With a current six films and two television series canonized and much, much more on the docket, one can feel overwhelmed or even afraid of the mass. But fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate… well, you understand.
Just last week Lucasfilm released the official digital collection of the Star Wars saga for the first time, in anticipation of the coming Celebration. And with the bevy of content and news currently blasting from our galaxy far, far away, we feel there’s no better time than now to tell you the Dabs Mag way of experiencing the saga in our DABBER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY.
Before a dabber blasts off to the Dagobah system they must first blast off at home with a dab. And that first dab should be the Skywalker OG Budde. A flaky, golden crumble reminiscent of the vast deserts of Tatooine is followed by a deep flavor and glowing buzz of a high. The perfect blend to set you right before…
A NEW HOPE. The first episode of the saga seen by an audience, and the fourth in the series, A New Hope is the initial and proper entrance into our galaxy far away. Join Luke Skywalker as he sets off onto the greatest adventure ever lived. (If need be, a second or third dab of the Skywalker should be had around the first escape from the Death Star.)
After your first taste of adventure, next up is THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Episode five, the plunge into darkness. The deepest and most intense film of the saga to date, and one of the most topsy turvy rides at the cinemas anyone could have. To couple with your wild ride into the dark side you’re going to want the Vader OG Wax from the California Patients Association. A peanut butter-y, real “concentrate” consistency and musky aroma elicit memories of Dagobah. But don’t get too sentimental, because the Jedi are coming back.
In RETURN OF THE JEDI, the first (but really second) trilogy from the Star Wars universe comes to a close. Luke, Leia and Han face the final (or so they believe) fight against the empire, and will need to enlist the aid of some new friends in order to win. In honor of those new friends, the accompanying dab we recommend with Return is the Blue Ewok Wax from Frosted Leaf. A little sweet, a little fluffy, but ultimately a dank and heavy head hit, this Ewok will keep you buzzing for the final act of your first jump into hyperdrive.
By now you’ve made it through the first leg of the tour. You’ve learned some of the greatest plot twists and reveals in modern cinema, and been through the classic end of our journey in space. Oh, and you’re probably really high. SO on that note, let us now take you to a time even longer ago, and still far, far away…
THE PHANTOM MENACE. The first episode. After decades of waiting, and millions of minds blown, Lucas straps us back in to take us home. And call us crazy, but there’s still something so “Star Wars” about this film, despite its universally slack elements. To be honest, the amount of dabs we’ve taken by this point should actually work WITH the “lesser than” values of the film, making it all the more fun to bump along with. And what’s another dab, in that case, amirite? So to start us off for the prequel trilogy we recommend a smooth giggly dab that won’t get you too sleepy (despite it’s indica qualities). Jedi OG crumble from the California Patient’s Association. Because boy oh boy, are you ever gonna need it…
For ATTACK OF THE CLONES is next. And nothing can prepare you for it. Usually when someone says that, you’re expecting mind-twisting excellence, probably, but as well, one could mean the horror. The utter dismay caused by the second episode of the Star Wars saga is not a fluke. Do not feel ashamed of your anger, lead you to the dark side as it may. Because this, more than any of the other films, stands out like a sore thumb. It feels the least “Star Wars” of the bunch and more a green/blue screen amusement park ride than a space opera. But, be that as it may, it is still Star Wars. And there’s always something to be had from that. (Keep in mind, where the first films were considered a “space opera,” the prequels are considered more of a myth. The telling of a legend, to better feel the realities of the tale to follow.) For this trial by fire, have some Beehive OG from West Coast Cure. If nothing else, it’ll get you buzzing like a Geonosian in the arena. And with good reason, because you’re about to witness—
The REVENGE OF THE SITH. The prequel trilogy’s epic conclusion and the tying knot of the saga’s first two parts. Revenge does pay off in many ways, and BIG ways. But for many, most of whom were probably hotly following expanded universe literature and fan speculation and theorizing in the time since the original films, the major threads of the film feel lacking in some way. Alas, we’re not here to wax dramatic on our gripes with the prequels, we’re here to hit wax and watch them. So for our final installment of the series (for now) we leave off with the Empire OG from Empire Extracts. The house OG, it’s heavy and strong. An all-encompassing and consuming high, like the grip of the newly formed Galactic Empire by the close of the picture.
If you’re still itching for more content by the end of your marathon, check out Star Wars Clone Wars on Netflix (the film and series bridge the gap between episodes two and three, and introduce one of the greatest characters in the entire saga, Ahsoka Tano) and Star Wars Rebels on DisneyXD (the bridge between episode three and four). Also, Gendy Tartakovsky did the pre-pre miniseries Clone Wars, acting as a kind of buffer into the film and series of the same name, which can be seen here.
Until next time, may the force be with you. And dab well.