Beachcombers, re-tune your metal detectors to that bad kind of heavy metals that are in a lot of the flowers we smoke. Two separate incidents of massive weed packages being found on U.S. shores are being reported.
A dude in Alabama named Ron Smith found ten pounds of ganj on the shore, according to a report from the Associated Press. Instead of cashing in his lottery ticket, Smith called the po-po who then said thanks and also that the pot he’d given them was valued at approximately $8,000. Smith then probably went home and wondered for the rest of his days about the wild success and adventures he could have had in the drug trade if he had just took a chance once in his miserable fucking life.
Meanwhile, over 800 miles away in Atlantic Beach, North Carolina, the local police got a call Friday reporting a “suspicious” package found on the shoreline. Turned out it was 12 pounds of weed that no one will ever smoke. According to local news outlet WECT-TV, the lost-and-found weed likely found its way to shore as a result of Tropical Storm Ana, who’s been making serious waves up and down Nicholas Sparks country as of late.
In unreported and unsubstantiated news, a lot of other packages were found on the beach by people who didn’t call the police because they like getting high and/or rich.
Photo via Wikimedia