The Canadian province of Ontario will require its cannabis retailers to take training in how to spot stoned customers. The online training program instructs budtenders not to sell cannabis to customers exhibiting warning signs such as “tiredness,” “disheveled clothing,” and “inappropriate comments.”

Andrew Murie, chief executive at MADD Canada, described other classic stoner behavior to the Financial Post that made it sound a lot like he has maybe seen one stoned person in his life.

“[Stoned people] fumble with things,” he said. “As they’re putting their card in, and they have to put their pin number in, they’ll fumble with that.”

Murie, who possibly only just took the training course himself, added, “Speech is a real big thing — it goes high, it goes low…. There’s a delayed reaction when you ask them a question. They’re kind of looking off to the side.”

Here is a list of “Signs of Intoxication” from the training program:

  • Inappropriate speech volume
  • Pace of speech
  • Alertness decreases
  • Inappropriate sweating
  • Red eyes
  • Fine motor control deteriorates
  • Gross motor control deteriorates
  • Poor enunciation, slurring words
  • Noticeably shallow breathing
  • Tiredness
  • Odour of alcohol and/or cannabis
  • Dry mouth
  • Disheveled clothing
  • Inappropriate comments
  • Aggressive behaviour
  • Argumentative

The mandated training program is offered online for the price of $49.99, and budtenders have to pass a quiz at the end of it, otherwise they won’t get to tend any bud. The test contains questions on general cannabis common knowledge (“What does THC stand for?”) to legal questions and even the smells of terpenes.

Photo via Flickr user Bastian