It’s been a lousy week for Brian Starliper of Idaho Falls, Idaho. Last Thursday the 22-year-old found himself too helplessly stoned to go out and get himself to McDonald’s. So he came up with an ingenious plan to have a meal brought to him, and all it would cost him is the possibility of serious jail time.
Hungry, lazy, and probably dabbed to the max, Starliper turned to his “friends” on Facebook, writing:
Yo if anyone in IF wants to bring me McDonald’s or Burger King rn I’ll give you a gram of wax straight up.
Fortunately for him, someone tried to take him up on the offer. Unfortunately, while giving his order, Starliper also provided his address and divulged that he had more than just a gram if the gooey good stuff while giving his order:
Dude a double quarter pounder, medium fries, large fries, and 2 sodas. I don’t know how much it is but I’m too lazy to get up and go to McDonald’s myself tbh. I have hella wax to play with too.
That “hella wax” comment may have been what made local police take it seriously when somebody dropped a dime on Starliper.
When the Idaho Falls Police Department Special Investigations Unit got word about Brett’s offer, they quickly obtained a search warrant for his residence. On the scene, they found ten total grams of cannabis and concentrate, one gram of cocaine, and “various drug paraphernalia,” according to the Idaho State Journal.
Brian was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession with intent to distribute (in exchange for a burger), plus they also got him for two outstanding warrants. This is not good, as Idaho has some very harsh drug penalties. Mere possession of less than three ounces of cannabis can earn you a misdemeanor charge and up to a year in jail.
Police also charged Starliper’s buddy Kayleigh Hawley, 20, with possession of drug paraphernalia and something called criminal “frequenting.”
See, in addition to Idaho’s harsh cannabis laws, it also has some particularly broad and restrictive regulations for drugs in general. Criminal frequenting is a good example. It makes so that anyone who “frequents” a spot where they know people distribute, store, or manufacture controlled substances can be charged. The sentence can carry a sentence of up to 3 months in jail or $300.
And that’s why it’s always good to keep a little stash of munchies around the house for when you get too dabbed and hungry to think straight.Photo via Flickr user WeedPornDaily