In a headline that certainly caught our eye today, Fox News reports, “Street cannabis contaminated by fecal matter, E. coli, study claims.”

To paraphrase Bruce Willis, there’s always a little bit of shit in the weed, but a research scientist in Spain says he’s found a lot more than a little bit of shit.

Pharmacologist José Manuel Moreno Pérez and his cohorts at Universidad Complutense in Madrid looked at 90 samples of “street cannabis” and found that about 80 of them were unsafe to be consumed.

They contained E. coli and the Aspergillius fungus. As Fox put it,  Pérez and his team “also found fecal matter.” Some, the outlet reported, “even smelled like fecal matter.”

Gross. But we got to admit that when we heard that we thought, “well maybe the square old timer Republican guys just don’t know what good weed smells like, and their noses are mistaking dank for ass.”

However, BBC and El Pais both reported the same thing. It’s possible that none of those newsrooms know what good bud smells like. But if that Spanish street weed really does smell like they say it does, there would be a pretty logical reason for it.

Pérez said that smugglers bring in plastic “acorns” full of hash from Morocco by swallowing them. “When they get to Spain, they take a laxative and expel the bellotas,” he said. “And then they’re put on sale.”

One messed up part of this whole story is that cannabis is actually kind of legal in Spain, but often that “kind of legal” designation applies to users in privileged classes in the cities.

The Telegraph reports that, “In many of Spain’s cities, you can blaze up guilt-free thanks to a legal loophole that allows cannabis growing for private consumption. You’ll find legal ‘weed dens’ in the likes of Barcelona, Madrid and Valencia – each with a stringent membership system and private suppliers. With the law averting its eyes, the clubs are free to become as opulent as they like: Barcelona’s Choko CLub is a local favourite, with an art gallery chic interior design, and a very knowledgeable bunch of ‘budtenders’.”

But if you can’t get past the stringent membership system to get into the chic opulent you might end up resorting to smoking butt hash.

Photo via Flickr user L B