Google doesn’t spend all of its time day dreaming and lazing about. Turns out it also looks at what we Google, when we Google it, and how many times we Google it – down to the minute. For the first time, this minutia of detail has been sort of released by the search engine overlords. Not released to you though, or me, but to Seth Stephen-Davidowitz of The New York Times.

Some factoids overturned by the Times while peeking through Google’s data were that the most popular time to search for suicide was 12:36 a.m. (in New York state, at least), that we search for the most porn from 12 a.m. to 2 a.m., and wonder why our poop is green most between 5 and 6 a.m. and 6 and 7 p.m.

But Mr. Stephen-Davidowitz also found this little psychological nugget regarding smoking nuggets:

“The data shows that the hours between 2 and 4 a.m. are prime time for big questions: What is the meaning of consciousness? Does free will exist? Is there life on other planets? The popularity of these questions late at night may be a result, in part, of cannabis use. Search rates for “how to roll a joint” peak between 1 and 2 a.m.”

Now, obviously that doesn’t exactly mean that most people smoke weed between 1 and 2 a.m., as most real stoners aren’t going to be Googling “how to roll a joint” at all. So, what does that stat point to? Could be that we’re dumber after midnight than we are before it.

The Times piece writes that some of the data points toward our minds getting a little softer in the night’s wee hours. We’re 60% more likely to search for “lost password” between 2 and 3 a.m. as we are on average the rest of the day, and twice as likely to misspell “facebook” as “facbook” or “weather” as “wether” during that same time.

So, could it be that stoned, exhausted people are forgetting how to roll a joint come 1 a.m.? Or, more likely, are stoners who don’t roll very much forgetting where they fuck they put their pipe at 1 a.m.? No one can say, except for the people at the N.S.A. keeping the rest of the minute-by-minute data on the behavior of American citizens.

And how relevant is this article? Depends when you’re reading it. If it’s early morning right now, then you can call this real news, as “news” searches peek between 5:30 a.m. If it’s late at night, the hours when internet-dicking-around is at its most pervasive, then you might call this junk journalism. Go ahead and tell us the truth. We can take it.

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