You know what Michael Keaton, Felicity Jones, Paul Thomas Anderson, and the visionary hair and makeup team behind Guardians of the Galaxy have in common? Besides the fact that they all lost last night at the Academy Awards? They’re probably all getting real fucking weird right now.

An article in Variety reports that the Oscar Gift Bags given to nominees this year included, amongst a ton of other ridiculous swag, a $250 Haze Dual Vape, a $250 Afterglow vibrator, and a visit from Olessia Kantor, guru and founder of New Age company Enigma Life, who will “discuss [each nominees’] 2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind control techniques.” The Kantor visit is valued at $20,000.

Now these swag bags are not actually made by the Academy, but by a promotional company called Distinctive Assets, a collective of probably rich/eccentric people with richer/more eccentric clients.

So now you got one more reason to get into the entertainment industry – you can get high, rub one out in luxury, and learn mind control techniques all for free. Dope!

Parker Winship