In the study of aliens, there are legitimate theories that have real weight in the scientific community and there are batshit theories posted in crazed chat rooms. Often, legit alien science sounds just as insane as the unfounded Internet rants.

For example, a recent study of 100,000 galaxies used NASA’s space telescopes to look for what’s known as a Kardashev Type III civilization – or an alien society that utilizes all the power of its galaxy. Such a civilization should be detectable at our distance by observing the heat waves emitted by using so much power. Of the 100,000 galaxies, researchers found three that could possibly be inhabited by superintelligent extraterrestrials using that level of technology. That is a real, credible study published in a legit scientific journal.

NASA is also publishing an essay by esteemed physicist Susan Schneider on the theory that if we do encounter alien life, it’s much more likely to be “post-biological” (meaning life that is either fully artificial intelligence of a hybrid of AI and organic biology) than it is to be an unmodified biological creature. That’s real too!

Not so credible, but almost as interesting, are some theories we’ve discovered involving the alien origins of cannabis on Earth. When a post regarding extraterrestrials and weed was dropped on “lunatic fringe” and conspiracy theory site Godlike Productions, a passionate but nearly incoherent debate broke out.

  • “SO where do you get aliens from you stupid piece of shit.”
  • “Actually, you’re the stupid idiot. You see? Do you think Weed or Marijuana evolved out of tiny microbes and became a plant? Which came first? The seed or the plant? The chicken or the egg?”

This kicked off a debate about the history of alien interaction with ancient human civilizations, alien origins of other drugs, and a really ill-informed understanding of cannabis biology. Here are some highlights:

  • “This planet was seeded by an alien species which came here to mine for Crystals not Gold. Gold was just an element that was necessary in the mining of the Crystals.”
  • “The Anunnaki did teach people in the art of herbology. However, it never says they brought any specific plants to earth. The plants were already here I would imagine.”
  • “Although I completely believe that weed causes new brain cell growth (I became MUCH smarter after becoming a pothead. seriously), I don’t believe it’s from another planet. Now, magic mushrooms on the other hand, they contain an extra element or something, and they are the only thing on the planet with the extra element or whatever it is. I read about it long ago, I can’t remember exactly what it is, but they have an extra SOMETHING that nothing else on earth has. The book I read it in was called “Truth, Lies, and Hidden Agendas” or something close to that. The author was Mick Farren, who I think also writes for Rolling Stone or some other big publication.”
  • “Gold is the key to slavery to produce what was needed in the old times and what is still being used today for the purposes of the elite inorder to make it through to the next cycle.”
  • “If it was an element that was nesessary to mine for gold, then it’s still being used today for other reason for the elite of today. And I do believe what you are saying is very true. THE THIRD EYE SEES ALL WHEN THE GREEN COMES TO SCENE.”
  • “Cannabis has been in use for tens of thousands of years. White blue eyed mummies have been unearthed in China with boque skunk. It was created and evolved with us to use wisely. I suffer from PTSD…bad shit medicine calms”
  • “TRUE, but they also came from Gold, The reptilians annunaki came here and slave humans for gold, gold is needed for their home planet tho.”
  • “Cannabis means two dog star from the ancients. So dog men brought it here, I quess.”
  • “we collectively created it. we are also the aliens”
  • “poeple just need to be educated about ALIENS and MARIJUANA”
  • “I know I’m required to be heavily medicated.”
  • “you know that tribe in africa that knows about sirius and the double star system? I believe they also say marijuana came from there.”
  • “The truth is weed is from another planet even if some people do not want to accept the fact it is proven that the weed plant is the only plant on our planet that gives of a heat signature and that is why police and the feds use infered camras to finde them if you look at the anciant mians hidroglyfics you will finde it to be true its no lie just look it up.”

There you have it. Just grateful every time you take a dab for the mummies, dog men, reptilian aliens, and crystal mines that made it possible.