A new article claims that Barack Obama is spending his retirement from the Oval Office in a purple haze. According to a report from Edward Klein and World Net Daily, the ex-president now “spends much of his time at his home just blocks from the White House playing video games, chatting on the phone with celebrity pals, smoking marijuana and popping cannabis-infused gummy bears.”

Whether you love Obama or hate him, this report likely fuels either your hopes or fears.

If you’re one of those people who find Obama the coolest president since JFK, this report confirms all your wildest fantasies. The report claims that the former ambassador of hope and change recently sailed the seas in a friend’s $300 million yacht where he “made sure no photos were taken of him smoking marijuana.”

If, instead, you’re on of those people who think Obama is literally or figuratively the anti-christ. then this report too confirms your wildest fantasies. It paints him as a man who “sees himself as sort of a hipster ex-president, a cool guy.”

The article even posits that Obama’s weed habit is thwarting the liberal conspiracy to dethrone President Trump. Klein says an Obama family friend informed him that Barack was being pressured to take the lead on the heavily funded effort by the Democratic Party to “delegitimize and impeach President Trump,” but that old Barry “wasn’t interested in being part of the Trump Derangement Syndrome.”

Instead, according to Klein’s source, the former president “mostly sits in his study playing video games and ordering a hip new wardrobe online, including a leather jacket and $300 Prada sunglasses.”

The only problem with this report, whether it confirms your views of Obama as a mega cool politician or an insubstantial celebrity, is that it’s almost certainly bullshit.

Edward Klein is the former editor-in-chief of New York Times Magazine who has turned to almost exclusively reporting unsubstantiated hit pieces against prominent liberal politicians, including 2005’s book The Truth About Hillary. WND, the exclusive publisher of Klein’s findings, has been known for such virtuous journalistic endeavors as furthering the Obama birther movement and is sort of like a less elegant version of Breitbart.

The truth is probably a lot more boring than Obama weed-napping his way through a conspiracy to overthrow the government. Unless that truth is more kitesurfing, which is not at all boring.