For a man of Rush Limbaugh’s learnedness and narcotic prowess, you’d think the pundit would know the meaning of the age old idiom of “wake and bake,” or at the very least be able to piece it together, given enough time and thought.

But you would be wrong. And thanks to the information age, in which precious little is not recorded for posterity, we can read Rush’s step-by-step process of trying and failing to deduce what “wake and bake” is supposed to mean.

A transcript of Rush’s Monday radio show (first excerpted by The Cannabist) reads:

“I don’t have any experience with this so I’m unable to render an opinion. Maybe I should go smoke some and find out what this is all about and be able to render an … (interruption) Oh, yeah, eat a brownie. That’s what ‘wake and bake’ means, right? Yeah, there’s an NFL player who had a Snapchat or Instagram post. He woke up and he’s all happy, and said, ‘Time to wake and bake,’ and somebody said, ‘Wow, that guy does the weed.’ So that’s what wake and bake means. Bake some cookies or brownies, I guess. Have you had them? (interruption) What do they taste like? (interruption) I do I wonder what they taste like.”

Entertaining and informative. This guy does it all. What other informed opinions do you have about cannabis, Rush?

“Cause, folks, it’s politically incorrect to say that marijuana might have health risks, because right now the politically correct thing to say about marijuana is that it’s great boon for people who are sick. Medical marijuana is absolutely wonderful even though there’s a recent study says makes no difference in anything. But they think it is. ‘Marijuana is really cool, and it’s safer, and it’s not heroin or cocaine, and it’s a crop! It comes from the ground, and it’s cool, and some of our favorite musicians did their best work while under its influence.’ So it’s cool stuff.”

Best guess is that old Rush was referring to this study by the Journal of the American Medical Association, a study which does not say that marijuana “makes no difference in anything,” but every once in a while we all make rash false generalizations, even Rush Limbaugh.

 

Photo via Wikimedia